The other side of the Khobragade Controversy: Who's the victim?

Looking at the recent revelations in the Khobragade incident, one is compelled to question who the victim is? Is it the nanny or the consul? Is Ms. Sangeetha Richard just another nanny or is she a mole? Did she spy on her employer? What did she take away with her when she left Khobragade's residence in their absence?

Though this maid ran away and accused her employer of maltreatment in June 2013, why did the arrest happen soon after the Indian PM left US after a visit? Did they wait till Ms.Richard was safely in the protection of the US authorities?

And when the Indian government reciprocated by calling for verification of the domestic workers of the American embassy staff, Sangeetha's family was quickly flown to the US. Why is this particular maid so important for the US authorities? There are many other underpaid immigrants over-working in the US.

Most of these questions will never be answered in public media due to diplomatic secrecy. With John Kerry expressing regret over the way the Consul was dealt with and India taking a tough stand by cancelling star treatment to the American embassy staff, the severed diplomatic relationship might take a long time to repair.

The Khobragade Incident : India- USA in diplomatic Standoff

Ms. Devjani Khobragade, the Deputy Consul General of India in the USA was arrested on 12 th December, in full public view. As a matter of fact she was allegedly handcuffed on the street when she dropped her kids to school in New York City. She was then strip searched by a female officer of the NYPD before being jailed with drug addicts for company.

The Indian government took a tough stand against this treatment of their diplomat in a country which is a huge democracy, like itself. It accused the US of highhandedness meted out to Indian officials, while American embassy officials enjoy VIP treatment here. The road opposite the US consulate in New Delhi is kept clear for the safety and quick passage of US embassy staff. The barricades were withdrawn and all privileges given to the Americans in India were cancelled.

The US authorities, meanwhile, deny handcuffing her. They've gone on record saying that the strip search was standard procedure before taking a person into custody.She was allowed to use her phone for two hours after she was arrested.

The charges against Ms.Khobragade,39 were a) lying about her maiid's pay during visa declaration b)exploitation of the maid by over work and lower pay. The diplomat was served the sub peona on 11th December on these charges.

You may read the unfolding of events here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devyani_Khobragade

It is to be noted that Ms.Khobragade, the daughter of a retired highly placed Indian bureaucrat, had owned a flat in the controversial Adarsh Housing Society in Mumbai!She was one of the illegal beneficiaries in that scam. Her father was CEO of Maharashtra Housing And Development Association(MHADA).

The problem with some Indian bureaucrats is they are used(privileged) to go scott free for discrepancies in their work. They are used by corrupt politicians to flout norms and given their share of the loot.

People like these diminish India's national image all over the world.

If Ms.Khobragade had done the same in her home country, it wouldn't have been noticed at all. She just chose the wrong place to go wrong.

Yet, she should have been treated with dignity(consular immunity) and not stripsearched and dumped with druggies. Indian government should stop pleasing the US(for investments) at the stake of national interests. And the people of India must wake up and elect deserving individuals as representatives in the government.

The Hrithik-Suzanne Split and the Perfect Marriage Myth

Hrithik Roshan. The name takes me back to my 16 year old self being unable to put a face on the guy in my dreams. Humans cannot dream new faces. Then came the blockbuster hit Kaho Na Pyar Hain. Lo!! There he is dancing on the silver screen, Prince Charming...

Not just for me, I can safely say HR is the heart throb for a generation of young girls. Ofcourse, showbiz abounds with beautiful people and he's not the only one.

His marriage to Suzanne followed his successful debut. They looked like a normal Bollywood couple with their share of linkups and rumours. I refrain from judging these people because the two alone know what they've gone through.

Having a spouse in showbiz surrounded by good-looking people isn't easy. But infidelity is not an accident, it's a choice.

'Marriage is a gamble!'

'Marriage is a compromise, you lose some, you gain some.'

Relationships are not perfect all the time. They have highs and lows and they evolve. The same applies to marriage too. But the institution of marriage is a social necessity, without which our society would be in utter chaos.

Marriage is not a fairytale. It's where two people share their happiness and face hardships together, after the honeymoon is over. Mutual respect and trust are the foundation of a lifelong bond.

'Why mars and Venus collide' is a book I wish I had read before marriage or soon after. The single most important point the author makes is not to pin your happiness on your spouse. Do your own thing, have your own circle of friends etc and share it with your spouse. It's your responsibility to cheer and support your spouse to be the best he/she can be.

Marriage is about falling in love with the same person every day!!

The major culprits in marital disharmony are lack of good communication, proximity to friends of opposite sex, infidelity, emotional infidelity, finances and extended family issues.

Once you have children, you are parents first and their well-being is priority. I wish HR, Suzanne and their lovely kids,the very best of days.

Kidzania's take on American Gothic

We were at Kidzania last sunday with baby and toddler. It's a playtown offering a wide range of activities for children of all ages. The town has its own currency, kidzos. You either pay or earn kidzos for each activity.

Toddler had a good time in the playhouse which included a ball pit, kitchen and inflatable beds(serve as trampolines). The funky version of American Gothic adorned the living room of the playhouse which was also the parents' lounge.

Ootkeyarea!!

No, I haven't been to Ooty. I am not searching for my keys either. Let me explain...My little one wakes up for a cuddle twice during the night. And tonight was no different except that I couldn't go back to sleep along with her. I woke up before dawn with sleep slipping away in the wake of my random thoughts.The average person has upto 30,000 thoughts per day. Since I am an average person, it's perfectly normal :-)

And it actually put a smile on my face to know that this was a case of UHTCEARE. Yes, that's the word.It is surprising (to an average person)that a word is spelt u-h-.Uht is the old English word for the time before dawn. Ceare means to care or worry. UHTCEARE means lying awake and worrying before dawn. I love this word because it can be used instead of a whole sentence! And happens to me often though it is best avoided for keeping in good health.It is one of the forgotten words which should be brought back into common usage. Thanks to Mark Forsyth for caring enough to compile such words. Oh it's pronounced oot-key-are-a. For the love of words! Good day!!

P.S:Another word starting with 'uh' is uhlan, pronounced as you-lan. The 'lan' rhymes with run. A uhlan is a soldier armed with a lance.

Spooky Dolly

My little one played with the doll yesterday and pulled some of its hair out from the pleats.

It was on my bedside table and was the first thing that came into sight when I woke up. Kind of spooked me out!!!

Pancakes for 8 month olds

Here's a simple pancake recipe I tried this week. The texture was perfect for my 8 month old to chew with her gums.

Ingredients:

2 tbsp rice flour

Half a large banana

1-2 tbsp milk

1 egg yolk

Blend all the ingredients to form a smooth paste. The batter should not be very runny. You might use more or less milk to adjust the consistency.

I used only the yolk of the egg since I was apprehensive of the protein in it's white. Check with your child's doctor before giving whites. If your child is already used to eggs, then you can add a whole egg.

Now grease a nonstick pan with a little butter. Pour the batter in small spoonfuls to make little pancakes. Flip them when you see air bubbles on top. The batter cooks fast so be careful not to burn it.

Cook for a minute on the other side and remove into serving bowl. This recipe is suitable for baby led weaning.

You can feed them to older kids too. And even mom! Ahem ;-))

My toddler's favorite meal

Peas 'peace' rice is one of my toddler's favourite meals. I call it peace rice as it is finished without much cajoling. And mommy's at peace when the food isn't leftover.

Soulmate by Karen Salmansohn

Another lovely picture:

The Koi Pond @ Strawberry Hill

This little koi pond is at StrawberryHill, Bedugul, Bali. The bijou resort is cosily tucked into the misty hills of central Bali. A bunch of cottages surrounded by pristine,serene nature offers a relaxing getaway from the busy throes of the south. It's a stone's throw away from Pura Ulun Danu and the biological gardens.

The entrance to the cottages:

The cottage we stayed in:

They serve fresh homegrown strawberries with breakfast. The farm :

Red and pink marigolds:

We spent 3 days of our vacation in Kuta and 1 day in Bedugul. Kuta has many pubs for the night owls. One can take surfing lessons and experience some impressive spas. Dinner at Jimbaran bay as the sun sets is a must do.

Easy Clown's Hat

Tomorrow is Circus day at school for my toddler and we are short of the right costume. So we did this activity.

The stationery store is just a hop and skip away from our home. We got :

a birthday cap,

a white chart, any colour will do

colour papers,

craft glue and a pair of scissors.

Begin by pasting the chart on the cap to cover the print. For this, cut out a semi circle, with radius equal to the length of the cap, from the chart. Fold it into a cone and adjust it on the cap. Glue it on.

Cut small circles from the coloured papers and stick them on to the cap.I let my toddler stick the circles because she likes to work with glue.

Cut a few strips of the coloured papers and stick them in a bunch on the tip of the cap. You are done!!

Cashew Brittle/Chikki

Made this today with 1 cup cashew nuts, 1-1/2 cups jaggery.

Dissolve jaggery in 1/4 cup of water and heat it in a heavy bottomed pan till you get a hard ball consistency.

Remove from heat and add the cashews.

Let cool a bit, not completely. Shape into balls or cut into squares while still warm.

Once cooled, store in an air tight container.

Vegetable Puree for 7 month old baby

This simple and wholesome vegetable Puree is a must try, if you haven't done yet. I wasn't sure my baby will like it but she almost finished it.

Ingredients :

1 medium sized carrot,

1/2 small potato,

1 small piece bottle gourd,

1 small piece pumpkin,

2 cups water

1/2 tsp ghee, optional

Dice all the vegetables and pressure cook them with water.

Drain the veggies of extr. Water

Blend, strain and serve with a dash of ghee.

When baby gets used to this puree, you may add more veggies to it like peas, beans etc. This puree may also be mixed with cooked Dal for a high protein meal.

Do not add salt to the puree or any baby food. I'll post later why salt is bad for babies. Baby food tastes good enough without spices.

To keep baby attentive while feeding, maintain eye contact and tell a story or rhyme with vivid facial expressions.

Do leave a comment if you like this.

To my children

A beautiful poem by Helen Steiner Rice :

A wee bit of heaven, drifted down from above;

A handful of happiness, a heart full of love;

The mystery of life so sacred and sweet; The giver of joy, deep and complete,

Precious and priceless, so lovable too; The world's sweetest miracle,baby, is you.

Miss my first born

My first born child is very much with me, but I miss some of the things I did with her before my second was born. I miss her cuddling up to me at night, I miss rocking her to sleep, I miss taking her to the park everyday to meet her friends, I miss telling her stories, I miss giving her my hundred percent.

My little sweetheart suddenly became the elder sibling the day we welcomed our second baby,oh I miss her dearly while she sleeps now.

I wish she knows that I miss her more than she misses me. Wonder how she deals with it.

How we came to BE : R P Feynman

Well known for winning the Nobel Prize (physics) for his work on Quantum Electrodynamics(QED), Richard Feynman was an eclectic mix of science, art and fun.

His multifaceted personality earned him as much popularity as did his Nobel and his work on the atomic bomb.

While he worked on the bomb with the likes of Otto Hahn, Oppenheimer etc, his first wife, Arlene succumbed to tuberculosis. He later said she was the only true love of his life.

He took to painting models, hanging out at pubs to deal with his loss, may be this triggered an appetite for dabbling in various hobbies like playing the bongo drums.

"Seriously, You are joking, Mr.Feynman!" is a good read which offers snippets from the life of this genius scientist.

It would be apt to say that if James Bond were a professor, he would be RPF!!

RPF wrote poetry too and this is my favourite poem which elucidates his take on life and how we came to be.

There are the rushing waves, mountains of molecules, each stupidly minding it's own business; trillions apart, yet forming White surf in unison

Ages on ages before any eyes could see, year after year thunderously pounding the shore as now; For whom? For what? On a dead planet with no one to entertain

Never at rest, tortured by energy prodigiously wasted by the Sun poured into space; A mite makes the sea roar

Deep in the sea, all molecules repeat the pattern of one another till complex new ones are formed.

They make others like themselves and a new dance starts

Growing in size and complexity, living things, masses of atoms, DNA, protein, dancing a pattern ever more intricate; Out of the cradle, on to dry land, here it is standing : atoms with consciousness,matter with curiosity

Stands at the sea, wonders at wondering : I, a universe of atoms, an atom in the Universe.

Feynman had read this poem as part of his address to the National Academy of Sciences

Glass painting

Driven by the urge to make sun catchers, I browsed the net for suitable designs and chanced upon a treasure trove here by artist Chantal Pare.

I started with " Dutch Windmill "

Did some others too but this is the only one left undamaged

I used the same colours as shown in the artist's page. Water based and oil based glass colours are available at any stationery shop.

Feeling down? This is how I cheer up

" Smile, the world is sad enough without your woes "

We all have our good days and bad ones. Sometimes the latter leave me feeling down.

Blame it on stress, hectic lifestyle which gives little time for human interaction, or any thing under the sun, some days are just not our best.

Though de-stressing may not solve the problem at hand, it certainly helps clear the mind. This is how I cheer myself up :

1. Pick a Wodehouse, especially Right Ho, Jeeves! Crack up laughing in no time.

2. Do some cleaning. If I look around the house, there's something or the other that needs my attention. Removing stains on the glass table, the refrigerator, etc

3. Give myself a good wash, from head to toe with a scrub. I dislike beauty parlour visits except for a haircut.

4. Yes! Get a hair cut, if it's grown too long, or just feel it is.

5. Go for a walk with the kids to the park.

6. Listen to melodious music or catchy film numbers. Badtameez Dil, Badtameez dil, maane Na, mane Na

7. Call a friend. This one works anytime, not only on KBC/Who wants to be a millionaire? !! After all,what are good friends for?

8. Make soup and eat it too, with a generous sprinkling of pepper.

9. Keep calm and try to meditate. I thought meditation is not for me, had a change of mind.

10. One jaadu ki jhappi from a loved one works wonders.Can't get? Give! This one has been proved to be a lifter.

11. Light aromatic candles.

And go back to work!

What did their moms do?(continued)

In my last post, I mentioned that it's important to retain the inborn curiosity, innocence and imagination of a child even as he/she grows up.

That alone would be the cornerstone for learning and excellence. As the renowned educationalist H.L.Mencken put it

Genius is the ability to prolong one's childhood

What did their moms do?

What did their moms/dads do?

Richard P.Feynman,

Albert Einstein,

V.S. Ramachandran,

Steve Jobs,

C.V.Raman,

Ada Lovelace,

Marissa Mayer,

Indra Nooyi,

John McEnroe,

M.Visweswarayya,

Amar Bose,

Richard Dawkins,

Stephen Hawking, etc.

You get the point? Who wouldn't love to know what their parents did for them which inspired or led them onto excellence?

Seeing my toddler play with legos and colours, I realise it's important to retain that childish inquisitiveness and imagination.

We are born with a scientific method of learning through observation and experimentaion. The key is to retain it.Is it possible in our information-cramming education system?

I promise myself to patiently answer her questions and never put her off saying "no more questions". It's not going to be easy. Yes,let's keep calm and count to ten!

A collection of first memories

I am from my childhood,Childhood is a republic

Coming across this line in NatGeo Traveller sent me back in time to that glorious of all republics, I was fortunate to have.

It set me thinking as to what my very first memory was. Though I can't pin point the first one, I manage to pull out a bunch of them, like old photographs lying in no order. Is it the way memory is stored in the brain? The sequence of initial events is blurred and a collage of faces, names, places, food, smells etc appears on the mind's eye.

Dinner with mom and dad under the silver glow of the moon,

Star gazing with dad,

Mom and dad making lemon squash in summer,

The vegetable garden in our backyard,

Hummingbirds' nest in a creeper,

Playing in the rain,

Crocodile with the red tongue nightmare,

Waking parents up in the middle of the night,

Granny's bedtime stories,

Milkshakes and homemade chocolates,

My plush pal,

The big blue sofa,

Pull along toy train, Pedalling toy car,

A trip to zoological park with parents,

First haircut by a Russian lady,

Wearing dad's goggles,

Granny's mehndi and exfoliating baths,

Begging to stay five more minutes at the beach,

Lollipops on parrot shaped sticks,

Sleeping under the starry sky in summer,

Mom and dad's ancestral villages, the lotuses along the drive,

Attending someone's funeral, too young to understand.

Dad's vespa scooter,

Thinking that tomatoes were manmade!until I saw them grow in the yard,

Miss.Glory, the kindergarten teacher, and a lot more I can't find the right words for.